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I am at a time in my life where I have to take a close look at myself and ask a few frank questions again. What follows is an excerpt from my book, Fleeting Glimpses of the Silly, Sentimental and Sublime:
I Will Give You A New Heart
(Originally published May 6, 2014)
I
walked out of the State Capitol building and immediately turned to my left
looking beyond the many different people walking about the area and in the
nearby park until I saw her. There was
my smiling wife, just a few feet from me, eagerly awaiting news of what
transpired during my interview. I approached her excitedly wanting to fill her
with the details as soon as I could. But suddenly I did not feel well. A strange sensation overtook me - a very
uncomfortable, unfamiliar and unsettling one.
She
immediately saw that I did not look “right”.
There was no time to discuss the interview. I told her that we should try to get some
aspirin before we picked our car up in the underground garage. She was, of course, very concerned.
It
was difficult walking down the street, across the roadway and up the stairs and
into the building where I had worked several years previously. Fortunately, there was still a little store
on the second floor just as I had remembered.
I asked Lonnie to go there and see if they had any aspirin.
As
she left to go, I sat down. I began to
sweat profusely. I had no pain; but I
was not right. One of the security
officers saw me and summoned a retired emergency medical technician who was on
duty. He immediately called for
assistance, removed my suit jacket, tie and dress shirt.
By
then my wife had returned. I saw her
standing in the background but it was so surreal. My struggling and stressed heart almost broke
as my chest tightened and I saw the anguish, fear and tears flowing from her
eyes. Oh, I wanted so much in some way
to spare her from this experience. I was
powerless to do anything other then to sit down in the rapidly expanding pool
of sweat that enveloped me. What would
be, would be. “God,” I prayed, “be
merciful to me a sinner. Be with and
comfort my wife.”
The
medics arrived quickly. They calmly and
reassuringly went about their task of trying to save my life. I was in route to Albany Medical
Center, when I was
suddenly “prompted” to ask them to take me to St. Peter’s Hospital instead.
We
arrived at that hospital a few minutes later.
They wheeled me rapidly through a crowded emergency room and into an
examination stall. Instantly, a nurse
and doctor appeared. Just as quickly,
they whisked me out and up to the operating room. A whirlwind of activity
occurred as I lay on a cold metal table with nurses and doctors speaking to me. I held my precious rosary beads in my hand
and continued praying to my Lord. “An
excellent thing to do,” I heard one of the hospital staff say.
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