I come as I am, before the Eucharistic
Lord, the beloved Eucharistic Son of the Father. I come in silence and
sincerity as one in need. I come neither piously
nor sentimentally. I come not on my own merit, moral strength nor conviction,
but one seriously aware of my personal frailty, weakness, forgetfulness,
inconsistency, pretentiousness, in short my sinfulness. I come as one in need.
I come in truth just as I am, in need of the mercy, forgiveness, healing and
correction. Like the Publican I cry out to the merciful one before me; “Oh God
be merciful to me a sinner”. (Lk. 18:13)
The Lord’s Eucharistic Presence before
me is the one who calls me and receives me as I am; “come to me all you who are
weary and are burdened and I will refresh you. Take My yoke upon you and learn
from me, for I am meek and humble of heart” (Mt. 11:28). I come before our Eucharistic Lord not
crestfallen, downcast, dejected or depressed at my inner and outer poverty.
Rather like the Publican in humility and truth I come before our Eucharistic
Lord, before the merciful one and experience joy, and peace at the reception of
my presence there with Him as I am, His welcome of me; a reception and call
full of a tenderness that is personal and unique to and for me, yet at the same
time not privatized but open to all.
The Lord’s reception of me, His
receiving me as I am, is an astounding welcome that changes me from the inside
out. I am touched to the core of my being in the awareness that He, the Eternal
Son, has been sent by the Father and has come for me, as if I were the only one
and not because of my perfections nor because of my goodness, but because of
the love that the Father has for me.
I
think of Zacchaeus, the despised tax collector whom Jesus called to Him in the
most amazing, surprising and totally unexpected way. I am so touched by
Zacchaeus’ perceptive regard for his personal need to also see Jesus and his
shrewd astuteness in running ahead, being short in stature and cleverly climbing the low-lying Sycamore tree that he too,
although reviled and shunned by the crowd, nevertheless hoped to also get a
glimpse at Jesus as he passed by. Zacchaeus I feel sure was acutely aware of
his despicable, shameful goings-on, yet there he was seriously intent on laying
eyes on Jesus, if only for a moment, perhaps secretly hoping that Jesus had
come for him too. And then the unimaginable happens! Jesus looks up at him and
not only penetrates him with His gaze full of affection and recognition, but
also calls him by name and asks to be welcomed into his home; “Zacchaeus, hurry
and come down for I must stay at your house today. So he hurried down and was
happy to welcome him.” (LK. 19:5-7)
This miraculous encounter between
Zacchaeus and Jesus is what awaits all of us who come, just as we are in our
poverty and need, to the one who comes for us first, our Eucharistic Lord;
secretly or not so secretly hoping that the one who welcomed Zacchaeus and
called him by name, will surely also welcome us and calls us also by name.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you I have called you by name, you are mine”.
(Is. 43:1)
(Mrs.
Mary Hurley OP, Our Lady of Providence & St. Thomas Aquinas Fraternity,
Providence, RI, excerpted from Godhead Here in Hiding Whom I Do Adore Lay Dominicans Reflect on Eucharistic Adoration)