As You know Lord, for much of my life, I rarely gave You any thought. You were not important to me. I went about my life without You, foolishly thinking I did not need You. I never considered how my disinterest in, and lack of love for You, made You feel. The audacity of a sinful creature to treat his Creator in such a despicable unloving way!
But that began to change,
slowly.
Oh, how bitter I was when
mom became ill and suffered so! How oblivious I was to being on the brink of
eternal damnation when you sent people into my life to drag me back from the
precipice.
Oh, how upset I became when I could not understand why my efforts to come closer to You were thwarted? Why I caused so much pain to those who loved me.
How often Lord did I
scream out in anger and pain asking You. "Where have You had gone?" The more I prayed, the
more I attempted to come closer to You, the further from You I felt.
I realize now Lord that You
have never abandoned me. You have always been at my side. It is I who has
refused to welcome You, to trust You, to rely totally upon You. It is I who
failed to love You and those You placed in my life, as I ought and as You and
they deserved.
Let me never forget Lord
that you are always at my side, not as the official heavenly scorekeeper, but
as a loving God. You are constantly gazing upon me, showering me with the graces I need to remain strong and offering Your mercy and forgiveness when I fail.
Thank you, Lord, for
always inviting me to get up and start anew!
What a Treasure! What a
Gift! What a God!
Lord, may I always trust
in You!
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