Monday Musings - Lamentations and Praise!

As You know Lord, for much of my life, I rarely gave You any thought. You were not important to me. I went about my life without You, foolishly thinking I did not need You. I never considered how my disinterest in, and lack of love for You, made You feel. The audacity of a sinful creature to treat his Creator in such a despicable unloving way!

But that began to change, slowly.

Oh, how bitter I was when mom became ill and suffered so! How oblivious I was to being on the brink of eternal damnation when you sent people into my life to drag me back from the precipice.

Oh, how upset I became when I could not understand why my efforts to come closer to You were thwarted? Why I caused so much pain to those who loved me.

How often Lord did I scream out in anger and pain asking You. "Where have You had gone?" The more I prayed, the more I attempted to come closer to You, the further from You I felt.

I realize now Lord that You have never abandoned me. You have always been at my side. It is I who has refused to welcome You, to trust You, to rely totally upon You. It is I who failed to love You and those You placed in my life, as I ought and as You and they deserved.

Let me never forget Lord that you are always at my side, not as the official heavenly scorekeeper, but as a loving God. You are constantly gazing upon me, showering me with the graces I need to remain strong and offering Your mercy and forgiveness when I fail.

Thank you, Lord, for always inviting me to get up and start anew!

What a Treasure! What a Gift! What a God!

Lord, may I always trust in You!