“O my Savior, what a revelation of conscience to me! With hellish insistency Your sworn enemy and mine demands of me each day that I bring him sacrifice, at the cost of virtue!...and alas! It is sadly true that seldom, very seldom, does he not get a bit of impatience, vanity, pride, self-love from me; seldom, very seldom, is it that he fails to entice me to curious glances, uncharitable words, dangerous thoughts, sinful inclinations!
And to You, O God of my soul, to You I refuse the very alms of a prayer, of an act of contrition, of a purpose of amendment!...I dare to refuse You one quarter of an hour’s adoration, the hearing of Holy Mass, the reception of Holy Communion…How lamentably considerate I am as regards my unruly passions; only in Your regard am I inconsiderate and hard of heart!
O Jesus, would that I could pay you back for Your great poverty and for all that You suffer for me – pay You back with the riches of my love! O would that, after the countless humiliations that You suffer for me, Mendicant Divine, I might strengthen, refresh, and glorify You with the treasures of virtues innumerable!
Now listen, my Jesus! You have decided to continue Your Eucharistic mendicant-life, so I must earnestly implore You to remain with me always, ever to be at the door of my heart! Only rap, and I will always open to You; only ask, and You shall always receive! I will always give You whatsoever You want; thoughts, words, desires, deeds of virtue, sacrifices, tears, penances – everything, everything, even my life. But there is one condition, my Jesus; I would so like to burn with love for You in the Blessed Sacrament that my love – that my love would know no bounds!
If we only realized, myself included, that a mere 15 minutes in front of the Blessed Sacrament would bring such great blessings on us. But I'm so stingy I don't even make time each week to do it. This is my new resolution for Advent: 15 minutes minimum visiting Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament outside of Mass once a week.
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