[What follows is one of the 175 Eucharistic Reflections in Godhead Here In Hiding Whom I Do Adore - Lay Dominicans Reflect on Eucharistic Adoration that will grab your heart and stir your soul.]
"There is a place in the human
heart that can only be filled by You, Lord. Try as we might to fill that space
with glittery goods or flatterers, it remains nothing but a vacant apartment,
an echo chamber, without You. It is a
place at the core of my being; I am empty, lonely, without You there.
At Adoration, everything
changes. If I let You in, You fill that insatiable yearning place. You melt my iciness; my heart begins to
glow. In a mystical moment, I am warmed
and satisfied in a way both quieting and yet passionate.
Adoration is my private door
that I can open to you. Immediately, You sweetly and lovingly permeate every
corner of my emptiness. By a treasured
grace, I learned of this door as a child.
In my long ago, my parents took my hand leading me regularly to
Adoration in a beautiful, hushed church in Manhattan. There You were, on the
altar, in the gilded monstrance, candles casting flickering shadows across Your
gaze. Even then, I was struck by Your beauty and the mystery to be explored at
each visit. I wanted to visit You often
so no one would put You back in the Tabernacle where You yearned for visitors.
You gave me two joyful parents
whose love for You was clear. At
Adoration, they never tried to keep me entertained, never stuffed crayons into
my hands, never gave me childish books to distract me from you. Instead, they
would whisper the amazing story of Your Love. Each visit with You became an
adventure. “Talk to Jesus, dear,” they
would say. “He loves you so much, and He
wants to take you by the hand on a great happy journey filled with beautiful
flowers and laughter. Jesus will teach
you to make those flowers into a crown for our heavenly Mother. He will take you to His sweet Father, Our
Father, who loves you more than you can imagine. Later, on the way home, tell
us about all the places where Jesus takes you.” And I did.
Even then, Adoration was a safe
place to open the door of my heart to Jesus so neither of us would be lonely.
Jesus would fill my emptiness, stir my deepest longings, and instill a holy
curiosity. If I grew tired, my parents
were never angry; they would hold me and tell me: “That’s all right honey; just
sleep in the arms of Jesus.” Ever since,
what peaceful and stirring communion with You I experience at Adoration.
So, from an early age, I learned
of the adventure of seeking out Your presence.
I knew You were wildly happy to see me.
My heart is still filled with awesome anticipation as I enter a church
where You wait for me. You yearn for me,
me! In each visit, You take me to beautiful and mysterious places paradoxically
of both adventure and protection. There is an anticipatory joy knowing I am about
to be led further into your heart, Jesus, and deeper into the mystery of the
family communion which You share with Our Father and the Holy Spirit.
Trinitarian Love is never just transactional; it is participatory and mutual.
Oh Jesus, across the globe,
there are so many who yearn to keep You company in Adoration but there are no
churches. We have so many places to
adore You within a few miles of home or work; yet few come to keep You company,
to console You, to enter into that dialogue of the greatest love story ever
told.
If only others knew the places
we travel together in that sacred chamber of the heart. I never tire of this exploration, though on
some days, I fear I will never be worthy of this shared journey. Then You look at me with Your piercing eyes
of purest mercy, and in that gaze I know I can do all things in You. Sometimes You have me wait for answers,
seeking to tame my impatience. “Not yet,
not yet, my dear one. Give Me your
freedom. Wait until the time to know more has come. “Trust Me.” And how can I not trust You, Lord? I have been created out of dust; yet, despite
my insignificance, I have been created out of Love, for Love. Born with enslaving weights of original sin,
You free me. In Your Presence, I see the promise of becoming all I can be
through Your grace.
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