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I come as I am, before the Eucharistic Lord, the beloved Eucharistic Son of the Father. I come in silence and sincerity as one in need. I come neither piously nor sentimentally. I come not on my own merit, moral strength nor conviction, but one seriously aware of my personal frailty, weakness, forgetfulness, inconsistency, pretentiousness, in short my sinfulness. I come as one in need. I come in truth just as I am, in need of the mercy, forgiveness, healing and correction. Like the Publican I cry out to the merciful one before me; “Oh God be merciful to me a sinner”. (Lk. 18:13)
The Lord’s Eucharistic Presence before me is the one who calls me and receives me as I am; “come to me all you who are weary and are burdened and I will refresh you. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart” (Mt. 11:28). I come before our Eucharistic Lord not crestfallen, downcast, dejected or depressed at my inner and outer poverty. Rather like the Publican in humility and truth I come before our Eucharistic Lord, before the merciful one and experience joy, and peace at the reception of my presence there with Him as I am, His welcome of me; a reception and call full of a tenderness that is personal and unique to and for me, yet at the same time not privatized but open to all.
The Lord’s reception of me, His receiving me as I am, is an astounding welcome that changes me from the inside out. I am touched to the core of my being in the awareness that He, the Eternal Son, has been sent by the Father and has come for me, as if I were the only one and not because of my perfections nor because of my goodness, but because of the love that the Father has for me.
I think of Zacchaeus, the despised tax collector whom Jesus called to Him in the most amazing, surprising and totally unexpected way. I am so touched by Zacchaeus’ perceptive regard for his personal need to also see Jesus and his shrewd astuteness in running ahead, being short in stature and cleverly climbing the low-lying Sycamore tree that he too, although reviled and shunned by the crowd, nevertheless hoped to also get a glimpse at Jesus as he passed by. Zacchaeus I feel sure was acutely aware of his despicable, shameful goings-on, yet there he was seriously intent on laying eyes on Jesus, if only for a moment, perhaps secretly hoping that Jesus had come for him too. And then the unimaginable happens! Jesus looks up at him and not only penetrates him with His gaze full of affection and recognition, but also calls him by name and asks to be welcomed into his home; “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down for I must stay at your house today. So he hurried down and was happy to welcome him.” (LK. 19:5-7)
This miraculous encounter between Zacchaeus and Jesus is what awaits all of us who come, just as we are in our poverty and need, to the one who comes for us first, our Eucharistic Lord; secretly or not so secretly hoping that the one who welcomed Zacchaeus and called him by name, will surely also welcome us and calls us also by name. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you I have called you by name, you are mine”. (Is. 43:1)
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